what about forever?

Hi everyone!

I'm not really a happy girl again, cos nothing will ever be the same, everything's different.

Well, first I want to apologise to RuiShyuan.

Ruishyuan/porky/frank/hubby,

thanks for putting up with me yesterday. You've webcammed with me since 6pm to 11.20pm. Thats like, 5hours 20mins. Thats alot of minutes. You abused your rabbit by making it dance, and did many things to make me laugh. Then, I cut. That was the stupidest thing I'd ever done, but sorry. I cut. I slit my wrist fourteen fucking times, against your will. You were pissed. Then, I broke down and cried. I shouldn't have let you see me this way, but I couldnt. Couldn't hold on anymore. It all just poured out, when I webcammed with you. I couldn't hold it in anymore either. And what you told me yesterday, everything you said, it didn't make much sense to me then, but now, it does. After reading 'Chicken Soup', I understood it. Now I finally do. Yeah, bby I will always be sad, always feel that slight bruise on my heart, but nobody, can replace you. No one.

And hanyang, thanks for being so concerned. You and RuiShyuan were telling me many things, and I wanna say thanks. I'm going to try and be strong now. :)

Well school was bs. Lessons were bs. Science test was knnccbfkrbs. Cca was knnccbmffkrbs. Argh. After cca, went to the shop with RuiShyuan, Keisha, Elaine and Carissa. When I was eating my kit kat, Brandon suddenly 'BOO'ed me. Which made me scream. Very loudly. Rs made me laugh alot too. Bused home with Elaine after that.

Bye.

School is full of mother fucking bullshit. Mother fucking bitchy slutty assholey bullshit. Bullshit even the bull faces a challenge shitting out. Yes, it's that crappy and bullshitty. And yea guess what, so is my life.

What you said stung. It always will.